Rules of Engagement


By Jett Pe Benito

You’re probably saying to yourself “…oh no, not another set of rules, I’ve got enough of them coming out of my ears.” Actually these are not strict rules, just myths and the real deals on the engagement period. Something that can make your trip to the altar a little more enjoyable, without the load of thinking that what both of you are doing is wrong.

Myth 1: The longer the engagement the better.

Real deal: Actually, both of you are the only ones who can really say which time frame best fits your relationship. There have been stories of people being engaged for 3 years, only to have the marriage last a year or a whirlwind courtship followed by 2 months as an engagement period resulting in a marriage that lasted more than a decade. It’s really all up to you.

Myth 2: It has to be diamonds or nothing…

Real deal: When you mix in practicality with romance, there’s sure to be a war of wills. Slowly, the concept of using other gems or quarks for the ring is being accepted. But should you have the budget for it, by all means go for a diamond. Always take into account though, the 4 C’s (cut, carat (weight), color (the less of the yellow to clear, the better, clarity (the absence or presence of flaws).

Myth 3: There has to be an engagement party!

Real deal: Now, let’s be frank about this. We all know that an engagement party for the regular Filipino is about as common as a dinner rehearsal for the wedding. The first concept as much as the latter are very Western ideas that have been adapted in our country by those in high society. A simple yet intimate dinner with family and friends to celebrate the engagement will do. Leave it to the local celebrities to have a lavish engagement party and have it broadcast via the television.

The truth of the matter

Engagements are part and parcel of the activities that lead to the big event–your wedding. Use this period to assess each other as lifetime partners and don’t be weighed down by social dictates and opinions. As long as your engagement is done in a manner that suits both of you then no one has the right to tell you any differently.