The Stag Party


By Jett Pe Benito

“In Sparta, during the height of Greek civilization, soldiers were the first to hold stag parties. The groom would have a party for his friends the night before he was to marry. He would bid farewell to his bachelorhood and pledge his continued allegiance to his comrades.”

This little information can be seen in a lot of wedding websites, but it would be more entertaining to get a first-hand account of what went on in an actual stag party.

Jason has been married for 7 years now with a little girl. But when asked about his stag party, he remembers it with a mischievous smile on his face.

” I had my stag party in February 1994, it started at around 8 in the evening, after working hours, of course. What do I think about stag parties in general, well, I see it as rite of passage. A coming together of the “herd” to signal their acceptance of the intended mate and to signal to the “stag” that they are willing to accept his new status. It is a tradition that every male has to undergo if only to feel that he has gone through every possible life situation that has been afforded to him.”

Media has not improved the people’s perception of what a stag party is, even displaying scenes of how a paid woman would have to jump out of a cake to pleasure the would-be-groom. The groom in turn would be led into a room to be assessed of his sexual performance by the paid woman and to report to his friends of what had happened.

Did Jason undergo any of these?

“Well, let’s just say that we were out to have a good time and we did just that. But as for me ending up with a prostitute, that wasn’t my cup of tea. One of my friends ended up with her and, as a practical joke, we watched him, in his drunken state, trying to coax the woman into the room. The result? That is a secret that only those who were present can answer.”

Jason continues his story by explaining the why and what for of a stag party.

“It is a clich to have a stag party, a tradition of sorts, much like a woman having her bridal shower. But the basic difference is the need for the male to be accountable to his friends. In my case, there was no pressure from my friends to prove anything. I guess that the wildness of a stag party would almost always depend on the company that you keep.”

And what would he suggest to grooms or friends of the groom who intend to have a stag party?

“Never have your stag party with people whom you do not trust. Don’t do anything that you will regret later on and do not feel that you have to go out of your way to please your friends. It all boils down to how you want celebrate your last days as a single man. To each his own would be the best explanation. “

What would you say to the comment that a stag party would be an avenue for a groom to vent his wedding jitters on his friends and probably have a chance to change his mind?

“That is a pretty asinine idea. Marriage is not something that can be decided on the spur of the moment and disregarded the next. A stag party is there as a sign of the next event in a man’s life, dedicating it to taking care of another person, his wife. It is done to gain perspective and to get serious with the things that are happening to him. It may be a machismo thing but what can be said of stag parties is that it has been there for centuries and if a man would change his mind about getting married based on just one night then he isn’t ready to get married in the first place.”

So, were there pictures as a keepsake of your stag party?

” You have got to be kidding! Of course there weren’t any pictures. A stag party is one occasion that does not merit any pictures. It should be forgotten and can only resurface as part of stories told only when the next stag party comes along.”